Forgive Yourself…

Forgive yourself of mistakes you made in the past, even if you are not forgiven for making them. We can apologize over and over again to that person or persons we offended and to our own selves as we immerse ourselves in guilt. Live in the present moment and leave the past where it belongs. Just try to be a better person right now, in the present moment.

My First Android Phone

Yep, here I am 58 years old and I’m getting used to this android Samsung phone. It’s bigger and heavier than my old TRAC flip phone. I kind of resent the fact that I have to carry this phone wherever I go now. I loved a land line but it was too expensive and the Phone company failed to add it to our internet package as we asked them to, so it’s their problem if they missed out on the money it would bring in. So I usually have a hard time learning new things and my menopausal forgetfulness doesn’t help but I’m slowly getting used it.

Try Living in the Present Moment

I am 58 years old now and many years ago I decided I to live in the present moment. It helped me overcome my mild depression. I don’t sit around allowing myself to get depressed about past events. But it makes it hard for me to remember names of people and details of what happened in the past, then I panic and wonder if I’m getting dementia or something. Am I okay if my mind goes blank when I can’t remember your name although I know that I know you from the past? Am I okay? Oh well.. no use panicking about it.. Life goes on eh?

That Brown Bottle of Lysol from Dr. Dad

Yesterday I was doing some gardening and I managed to get tiny hairline cuts on the tops of my fingers. There was Miracle Grow soil embedded deeply in the cuts and I couldn’t get it our with the nail brush! Yes it hurt to scrub a few tiny cuts, but I’m a tough old gal! So I went to bed with dirt in my cuts and woke up with all of them red and looking like infection might be setting in. So after my husband left for work I got out my brown bottle of Lysol- (yes the same one my dad used to disinfect our cuts when we were growing up), and I added 1/4 tsp to a cup and a half of warm water. Then I soaked my hands for 10 minutes in the cloudy pink water. Then I scrubbed the cuts again with an old toothbrush in the Lysol water before dumping the stuff down the drain. Yes just a 10 minute soak and I see a great improvement in healing 2 hours later. I will have to repeat this process again later in the day. I swear it helps, it always has and always will.

Our Love/Hate Relationship

I have a sister two years older than me.  My sister turns 60 and I turn 58 next month.  We also have two sisters who are younger than us. When I was born my older sister began to hate me, probably because I got all the attention and we all know how a two-year old can have temper tantrums for attention! As we got older she did mean things to me. I remember her sitting on my stomach and hitting my head on the floor as a preschooler! When we were teenagers she was even meaner, calling me names and making me cry in front of her friends, she even did it in the halls at high school! Then she’s call me “Ruder Yips”  and then laugh at me because my bottom lip stuck out a lot when she made me upset or I’d cry. We had cat fights at home when I got older, I was so sick of her crap! and when I tried to kick her in self-defense she’d call me a Jack Ass! She was one tough cookie and had cat fights with our cousin who was her best friend in high school right out in the street when they got off the school bus once. Okay, she was a bully!  Alright I admit it!  I was so happy when she got married at age 18 and moved out! NO I was NOT in the wedding party, HIS sisters were but not her own! And she wasn’t in mine either. For decades we weren’t very close until we were in our 30’s and started visiting our parents once a week. All four girls had children and didn’t have to work, so we made sure to visit with the kids all years round. Eventually I forgave my sister and we even love each other, but she can be a real ASS sometimes especially since we got on Facebook where she tries to prove me wrong when I post something on my timeline. Now I never do that to her! Out of respect for her, knowing her husband’s family and her friends read her timeline posts. So why the hell does she do it me? Bitch! So I had to privately tell her off this morning. She’ll apologize, she always does, but still and all maybe I need to  block her from seeing my posts before I post them? I know she had the PMS thing in the past but she’s post menopausal now. She must have had it!,  where it makes you super touchy and angry all the time as a hormonal woman. Anyway here I am complaining about her. I LOVE MY SISTER, I do! We sisters all know she’s a little crazy! Her husband drives her crazy, but I’m the one person she takes it out on the most. Sometimes she takes offense at what our younger sisters say but not often.

On Making Mistakes

Have you made some horrible, embarrassing mistakes in your life? The kind you would rather forget?  I’ve made plenty of them in my 57 years on earth. Many times I’ve been judgemental, maybe I am still at times, I am an impulsive speaker, often saying things I regret and have a quick temper although I don’t stay angry very long, it’s pointless to hold a grudge when that negative energy ruins your whole day. I have learned to forgive myself for my mistakes, you can only move on in the present moment, forget the past and try to do better, to be a better person.

Remember the AIDS Epidemic?

Remember the AIDS epidemic? I quite forgot all about it actually. You see it doesn’t affect me, per say…I don’t know anyone with it. But I am reading a real good book about it called TELL THE WOLVES I’M HOME by Carol Rifka Brunt, (c) 2013. In fact it’d be a great book for a teenager to read also! THIS BOOK WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOVIE! Seriously! It’s about how a 14 year old, rather quirky girl named June Elbus handles her Uncle Finn’s death of AIDS  in 1986 when it was all new and scary and how she befriends the love of his life. It’s a such a sad yet sweet story. Bittersweet.