I sometimes post about unusual subject matters that the close minded crowd won’t like. I’m a super curious, woman with a wild imagination. I like to explore (read about) the unknown even if it scares me sometimes. Like about reincarnation, meditation, angels.. oddities I read about online and in here. Yes I read about aliens and conspiracy theories. So does that make me weird? Well that’s too bad, go read someone else’s posts! Then I walk away feeling funny about myself. “What will my readers think?” Do I have many readers anyway? NO! So who cares? Why do I care anyway? Why am I so insecure? I just need to express my thoughts no matter how off your wall they may be! HA!
I never considered myself a wonderful parent. Now that my daughter is the mother of a 5 year old girl and a 3 year old boy, I can see that this true.. I am not comfortable telling other people what to do, I am not a take charge kind of person and I’ve been known to be directed by bossed around by my granddaughter, and I’m supposed to help babysit them for 4 days? Eek! I’ll have to learn to be assertive and not get tricked into the children’s shenanigans. I am so lucky my daughter and son turned out alright, SERIOUSLY! They are both hard workers and responsible adults! They have their flaws of course but hopefully not as bad as they think mine are! I have my faults too. I’m obese and my face can be rather clownish at times while expressing myself. I am a procrastinator of the worse kind when it comes to cleaning my house, and I allow my physical limitations (I have Pelvic Organ Prolapse) dictate my job searches. Well guess what my husband has CKD and I have to freaking grow up now! The medical bills will pile up weather we have financial aid or not. If only I could find a sit down job assembling things. I love that kind of job in manufacturing, except I can’t see or remember as well as I used to. I need to get my head examined, seriously I do.
Forgive yourself of mistakes you made in the past, even if you are not forgiven for making them. We can apologize over and over again to that person or persons we offended and to our own selves as we immerse ourselves in guilt. Live in the present moment and leave the past where it belongs. Just try to be a better person right now, in the present moment.
Yep, here I am 58 years old and I’m getting used to this android Samsung phone. It’s bigger and heavier than my old TRAC flip phone. I kind of resent the fact that I have to carry this phone wherever I go now. I loved a land line but it was too expensive and the Phone company failed to add it to our internet package as we asked them to, so it’s their problem if they missed out on the money it would bring in. So I usually have a hard time learning new things and my menopausal forgetfulness doesn’t help but I’m slowly getting used it.
I am 58 years old now and many years ago I decided I to live in the present moment. It helped me overcome my mild depression. I don’t sit around allowing myself to get depressed about past events. But it makes it hard for me to remember names of people and details of what happened in the past, then I panic and wonder if I’m getting dementia or something. Am I okay if my mind goes blank when I can’t remember your name although I know that I know you from the past? Am I okay? Oh well.. no use panicking about it.. Life goes on eh?
Yesterday I was doing some gardening and I managed to get tiny hairline cuts on the tops of my fingers. There was Miracle Grow soil embedded deeply in the cuts and I couldn’t get it our with the nail brush! Yes it hurt to scrub a few tiny cuts, but I’m a tough old gal! So I went to bed with dirt in my cuts and woke up with all of them red and looking like infection might be setting in. So after my husband left for work I got out my brown bottle of Lysol- (yes the same one my dad used to disinfect our cuts when we were growing up), and I added 1/4 tsp to a cup and a half of warm water. Then I soaked my hands for 10 minutes in the cloudy pink water. Then I scrubbed the cuts again with an old toothbrush in the Lysol water before dumping the stuff down the drain. Yes just a 10 minute soak and I see a great improvement in healing 2 hours later. I will have to repeat this process again later in the day. I swear it helps, it always has and always will.
I have a sister two years older than me. My sister turns 60 and I turn 58 next month. We also have two sisters who are younger than us. When I was born my older sister began to hate me, probably because I got all the attention and we all know how a two-year old can have temper tantrums for attention! As we got older she did mean things to me. I remember her sitting on my stomach and hitting my head on the floor as a preschooler! When we were teenagers she was even meaner, calling me names and making me cry in front of her friends, she even did it in the halls at high school! Then she’s call me “Ruder Yips” and then laugh at me because my bottom lip stuck out a lot when she made me upset or I’d cry. We had cat fights at home when I got older, I was so sick of her crap! and when I tried to kick her in self-defense she’d call me a Jack Ass! She was one tough cookie and had cat fights with our cousin who was her best friend in high school right out in the street when they got off the school bus once. Okay, she was a bully! Alright I admit it! I was so happy when she got married at age 18 and moved out! NO I was NOT in the wedding party, HIS sisters were but not her own! And she wasn’t in mine either. For decades we weren’t very close until we were in our 30’s and started visiting our parents once a week. All four girls had children and didn’t have to work, so we made sure to visit with the kids all years round. Eventually I forgave my sister and we even love each other, but she can be a real ASS sometimes especially since we got on Facebook where she tries to prove me wrong when I post something on my timeline. Now I never do that to her! Out of respect for her, knowing her husband’s family and her friends read her timeline posts. So why the hell does she do it me? Bitch! So I had to privately tell her off this morning. She’ll apologize, she always does, but still and all maybe I need to block her from seeing my posts before I post them? I know she had the PMS thing in the past but she’s post menopausal now. She must have had it!, where it makes you super touchy and angry all the time as a hormonal woman. Anyway here I am complaining about her. I LOVE MY SISTER, I do! We sisters all know she’s a little crazy! Her husband drives her crazy, but I’m the one person she takes it out on the most. Sometimes she takes offense at what our younger sisters say but not often.