The Big Offender

Since last December, I’ve offended many people, mainly my aunt, who more or less stopped talking to me about 30 years ago. In doing that I also offended her son, his wife and grandchildren since they don’t talk to me in Facebook.. I do feel bad about that, but I had 30 years of unanswered questions. I was in an emotional mood that day, December riles me up, it has for years. I apologized as soon as I did and since it came out of the blue (to them), I probably sounded crazy.

Then a few weeks ago I got billed for clock I didn’t expect from volunteers at the historical building which I clean once a week, which included my aunt I mentioned, even though I gave them a replacement which wasn’t good enough. So I gave them their $5.00 and wrote a sarcastic note to go with with it. Friday I apologized again in a note, I’m not sure what they thought of that.  I said:

“I’m sorry about the clock fiasco, I hope no one holds a grudge. Can we move on from here and just be happy?” 

‘Don’t worry..”

“Be happy…”

and I signed my name and drew a cartoon of my face.

Anyway they might all think I’m CRAZY now and just avoid me. Maybe I did act out of character. Like I said I need a physical. My problem is I say things impulsively without any thought of consequence. I just blurt things out! I offend people all the time, just usually my family not other folks. I need to curb my enthusiasm for speaking what I’m FEELING…

I had a talk with my much older cousin and we decided I have to stop writing notes and letters. I KNEW that before I talked to her, I just got it confirmed!  She is a Sagittarius similar to me, she knows.  She said say what you feel but don’t put it in writing. I am a coward and hate confrontations so I write my damned notes! I just put my foot in my mouth every-time I turn around.  I seem irritable lately and don’t know why.

I wish I hadn’t gotten so angry that day, why didn’t I shrug it off like I used to do? I know it’s best to live in the PRESENT Moment and to leave the past behind.  I think I need a physical I haven’t been my easy going self lately.

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2 thoughts on “The Big Offender

    • Yes, it’s time for a change.. I’m not acting like my normal self. I need to get out of that negative rut I’m in. I’m turning into a recluse, I feel awkward at face to face connections.

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